Monday, June 08, 2020

Bits Of Life

Bits Of Life


I'm holding a fountain pen
A very beautiful one
Heavy
Balanced
Wanting me to write on paper
The handwriting similar but different from a few years ago
When I wrote more than reminders to myself or
Signed on cheques
Cheques too are out of date
But then I might forget to write
And see what my handwriting looks like-

Now it leans a little more to the left
And is spiky, more perfunctory
But also more assertive
Running hand means the letters run into each other
More

Bits of Life
Come back as space debris
The inside of the remembered mind is 
Like space
A vast semi-lit place
Its edges lost in the shadows

So bits of things
Parts
Like things in a wrecker's yard
The mess there is professional
Deliberately unpaved
Always peopled by an uncouth dog
That the Wrecker obviously loves 

Things lie around so that they can be found and sold
Even stacks of parts are just there
Leaning radiators
Pipes and pipes

To save space for the many body parts
The glint of faded colours
In the light of day or the dull light of lamplight at night
But in the night a  wrecker's yard 
Keeps secrets 

For afternoon
There are
Blues, blacks, 
Whites with rust spots
Chrome 
Dimpled and sometimes twisted

All with their stories
Some worth telling

Recognizable as parts of a context by those that sold objects to the wrecker
But now just parts to others
Or a restoration target

In your space debris of the mind
You know the flotsam and jetsam 
With unique long forgotten emotional charges
Like current

Mostly if they are recent
There is nothing surprising about it
 But old things
Long forgotten
Come from a long time ago
Like space travellers from years ago
When they were joined to other pieces
And meant something all together-
With bits and thoughs and words that are not here but you find yourself trying to remember
What it was exactly
Groping in the dark
Awake but it came to take you unawares
When you were asleep

It is disturbing to see bits of a dismembered life
What is the purpose of these regurgitated
Fragments?
What is the point of recalling shards
These bits of life
Now floating with little emotional charges
That can shake you up

Are they revisiting with a desire to say something new?
Or are they just travelling in space and you happened to look at them squarely
As they passed.

June 9th, 2020
Gautam Mukherjee




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